Warning: This is very long. I probably should have split it into separate posts, but here it is, in all its wordy glory.
Two weeks ago, the planets aligned in such a way to tell me, \”No sex for you!\” I responded with frustration and two less-than-fulfilling masturbation sessions. Then SwingBot fucked me in the shower and got me excited again. Eagerness renewed, I tried masturbating again, and still found a lack of success. Then the next two nights were filled with success… for me, anyway.
I should have asked for input before I gave BG that name. \”BiGuy\” might be succinct, but certainly is not as entertaining as other suggestions since provided.
Blogging about sex sometimes frustrates and disappoints me. Specifically, my failure to successfully recapture the pleasures experienced during sex frustrates and disappoints me.
Last week was fairly dry in terms of sex for us. BG was gone for the week, which meant no play date. I started suffering pain from my recent \”simple procedure,\” enough that I discussed options with the doctor, which included having the procedure reversed and redone with the more common alternative. Concerned for my pain, SwingBot and I agreed to ease up on sex in the mean time. My period started early that week, which generally keeps SwingBot at bay. Finally, as if to seal our lack of activity, SwingBot was not feeling well, suffering intense back pain at the start of the week and coupling that with flu-like symptoms by the weekend.
In case swinging does not have enough potential causes for anxiety — having to find compatible partners, performance anxiety, risk of STDs/pregnancy, being outed — there is a niggling worry in the new swinging couple\’s minds: Will s/he find a better sex partner and leave me?
The most important concept, I think, for swingers to remember is that sex does not equal love. It is funny that, while we are single, many of us freely give our bodies over to no-strings-attached play in the form of one-night-stands, but once we have committed partners, such enjoyment becomes taboo. One could argue that those one-night-stands might develop into something deeper, I suppose, but I think the dichotomy owes more to societal standards. Just as a man who has many partners is a \”stud\” (good) while a woman who has many partners is a \”slut\” (bad), so it holds with singles versus couples: singles may pursue others while couples are supposed to be only with each other.
Last Saturday, we had BG over for our third date within one week. That might be a bit too much in such a short time, but I did enjoy myself.
The most common alternative term for swinging is \”wife swapping.\” Not \”husband swapping,\” \”spouse swapping,\” or \”partner swapping.\” \”Wife swapping.\” This term says four things to me.
Deprive a \”swingle\” of his expected playtime and he shall return for more. At least, that seemed to be the case this week.
Apparently, October is Cuddle Month; it has been for me, anyway. SwingBot and I have spent more weekends cuddling together on the couch this month than we typically do in a season, and last night turned into one more cuddle session.