SwingBot and I went to a Las Vegas strip club. After spending some time on the main floor, where women dance for the male customers, we two went upstairs for where men dance for the female customers.
A very heterosexual friend, Mr. Boobs-in-Face, laughed that SwingBot was accompanying me upstairs, probably figuring that it would make SwingBot uncomfortable. The exchange went:
Mr. Boobs-in-Face:
\”You\’re going with her, right?\”
SwingBot:
\”Of course I am!\”
Mr. Boobs-in-Face:
{laugh} \”Good on you, being that secure in your masculinity!\”
We barely entered the room before a male dancer, dressed in flashy street clothes, had me seated with his chest in my face, my hands on his arm muscles, and his \”street clothes\” stripped off to a thong with fringe along the pouch. After one song, he spoke with SwingBot and we moved further into the room, where the dancer and I basically groped each other. SwingBot later told me that their dialogue had been:
Dancer:
\”May I take her in the back and get closer?\”
SwingBot:
\”I\’d be offended if you didn\’t.\”
Dancer:
\”That\’s what I like to hear.\”
Over the course of the three-song lap dance, my thoughts went like this:
\”What the heck, how did I get here? Nice arm muscles; I wonder what his butt is like. Obviously, touching is allowed and even encouraged. It\’s kind of hard to really get into this, knowing this is just a paid performance. He does seem to like his job. Hey, his hand is under my shirt! Huh, nice butt. What is SwingBot watching; what can be crazier than this? I cannot believe that the dancer just had me grab his erection! Mmm, nice butt and legs. Woah, his hands went under my underwear!\”
Yes, he placed my hand on his erection. \”So you know it\’s real,\” he explained. Male dancers must have Viagra as a staple of their diets.
After three songs, the dancer gave us options, including more dancing and a private room \”where we could do more.\” I could not begin to imagine what would constitute as \”more.\” After I surfaced for air, I got to see what SwingBot had been watching. There were at least two bachelorette parties, one on stage where male dancers were dry-humping a woman Doggy Style and one next to us where male dancers slapped their not-entirely-concealed cocks in a woman\’s face while another woman tit-fucked a male dancer. With those scenes and my own intimate dances, I doubted that I was ready for \”more,\” and we paid my dancer and returned downstairs.
After the near-orgy upstairs, the sight of mostly naked women swiveling in front of seated men was just dull. We sat during another dancer\’s performance and I even placed bill in her thong, but I already had my adrenaline rush. This was just tame now. Feeling a little tired, SwingBot and I departed, leaving our friends to their lap dances and expensive drinks.
Overall, the strip club experience was fun, but not something either of us feel like we need to repeat anytime soon.