One concept I see frequently come up in discussions of polyamory and BDSM is that of the \”One True Way.\” I do not see that phrase much in conversations on swinging, probably because the topic, \”Should single men be allowed to even exist?\” consumes so much bandwidth.
Category: Personal Thoughts
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If I Left You
Yesterday was St. Valentine\’s Day, hailed — and griped about — as the most romantic holiday of the year. Yesterday also marked my fourteenth \”dating\” anniversary with SwingBot (as opposed to our wedding anniversary). On this double-whammy of romantic days, what did we do?
SwingBot went on a weekend-long excursion somewhere a few hours away, while I stayed home alone. Not many people would call that arrangement very romantic, I suspect. Nor would they be charmed by the conversation I want to mention here.
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Appreciating SwingBot
I have been thinking about my relationship with SwingBot lately. I am not sure that I say this enough, but I consider myself very lucky to be with him. He is clever, fun, and kinky, and I am delighted that I get to call him mine.
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Will He Leave Me?
In case swinging does not have enough potential causes for anxiety — having to find compatible partners, performance anxiety, risk of STDs/pregnancy, being outed — there is a niggling worry in the new swinging couple\’s minds: Will s/he find a better sex partner and leave me?
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I Do Not Make Love
The most important concept, I think, for swingers to remember is that sex does not equal love. It is funny that, while we are single, many of us freely give our bodies over to no-strings-attached play in the form of one-night-stands, but once we have committed partners, such enjoyment becomes taboo. One could argue that those one-night-stands might develop into something deeper, I suppose, but I think the dichotomy owes more to societal standards. Just as a man who has many partners is a \”stud\” (good) while a woman who has many partners is a \”slut\” (bad), so it holds with singles versus couples: singles may pursue others while couples are supposed to be only with each other.
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SwingBot: Two\’s Company
SwingBot is the M half of this duet, who occasionally contributes inane guest-posts to this blog.
First off, this is just a shameless pitch for my SO\’s new blog, which she created on this very same topic, in case you want to hear about this stuff from the other end of the leash. Also, she came up with a better name than I did.
http://www.weekbiweek.com/
However, to level the playing field, I feel I should cough up some past history details about myself, if only to clarify a couple things from Week Bi Week.
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SwingBot: So You Want to Be A Hedonist?
SwingBot is the M half of this duet, who occasionally contributes inane guest-posts to this blog.
For years, I was pretty convinced I was gay. I had some male friends, some of whom spent a lot of time (and nights) on my couch. I fantasized, constantly, about them letting me suck them off for a while, before they flip me around and fuck me.
Actually, yeah, that is pretty gay, now that I write it out like that.
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SwingBot\’s Impact upon My Sexual Imagination
I cannot imagine how my sex life would be today without SwingBot. I highly doubt that I would enjoy it nearly as much as I do. He really opened my eyes to so many possibilities that I enjoy now.