My Wednesday post noted that the standard high-drama relationship as glamorized in movies or television provides poor guidelines for real romances. I want to add to that a little.
Non-monogamous relationships have been increasingly getting mainstream attention. Families practicing polyfidelity, swinging, and open marriages have been making themselves known to the general public, and sharing their stories. The biggest shocks about them have been: they exist, their success rates seems to be no worse than those of monogamous couples, and they are mostly normal.
The public get to see that the people involved in these non-monogamous relationships are generally not porn stars, drug addicts, abusive towards one another, independently wealthy glamourous jet-setters. Instead, they have regular jobs, relatable routines, homes in normal neighborhoods, and even children. Some might travel regularly, some might be homebodies, some might go out frequently while others might be fairly introverted…
For the most part, their lifestyles are relatable. It is just that they might live in a household of three sharing adults, or have permission for No-Strings-Attached sex with others, or are two couples in separate households who might regularly share sex amongst themselves… The only real \”weird\” thing is that it is something other than a two-person couple declaring that they are exclusive to each other.
Overall, the lifestyles of successful non-monogamous couples (or thruples, or more) are actually pretty boring to watch. The lives are (hopefully) not boring to live, of course, but they are not the stuff of high drama and high conflict that serves as entertainment. Instead, they are based on the stuff of any healthy, successful relationship: open communication, respect, taking ownership, and caring about each other\’s needs.
It does not matter whether the adults involved are a monogamous couple, a swinging couple, a polyfidelitous group, or a some other arrangement. A healthy and satisfying relationship can be found for what you need, provided you understand that it takes work between you and your partner(s)… and that what makes good viewing entertainment is not what makes a good foundation in real life.