As a break from my ranting, enjoy some fun news.
I think this is my last rant for a while. I realize that this has not been an active year for this blog and that most of my posts over the past two years have been rants, which are not generally sexy. That said, this is another rant.
Typically, when people argue the “slut” label often attached to the label “bisexual,” they state, “Bisexuality is not polyamory.” This is true, but I think fails to address the bigger point that bisexuality is not a checklist.
This is not going to be popular, and may even be deemed offensive by some. I am not trying to insult or be incendiary. That said, this is genuinely my opinion.
I think that the common, modern uses of the terms “pansexual” and “queer” are often employed to solve a problem that does not exist: that “bisexual” is too limiting. Some argue that the “bi” in “bisexual” means that a bisexual person can only be attracted to men and to women, not to more fluid dynamics.
Last week, I read a friend’s blog in which he noted that too-influential-crazy-person Mark Driscoll preached that each woman is made by Driscoll’s god as a home to some particular man’s penis. Yes, really. In case you have not read the excerpt, it is quite full of loopy.
Huh. I just realized that hating bisexuals is an extension of misogyny and phallic worship.
“Exsqueeze me?” you ask incredulously. It may seem odd, but follow me for a moment. Please excuse the sweeping generalizations and crude stereotypes along the path.
SwingBot learned the hard way that one of the sites we use, SLS, has a chat function… and its default setting is On.
SwingBot and I finally dragged ourselves to The CSPC on Saturday. We last tried over a year ago, planning to attend a rope bondage course. The drive there was so stressful, followed by our inability to find a parking spot (partially because the place was busy, but partially because we did not know what were legitimate spaces), that we gave up and simply drove back home. That wasted round trip took two to three hours.
With a commute like that, visiting The CSPC is not a light undertaking for people who dislike driving.
SwingBot and I have been perusing FetLife and OKCupid recently. Our visits to these sites tend to yield more gripes than candidates for folks we want to meet. One common issue is the hit-on message from the person with the incomplete or unhelpful profile.
This was originally a comment in response to Couple Privilege: Your Thoughts? on SoloPoly.net. If you have not read that post (or the blog in general), then I recommend you do so! The blog overall looks at polyamory from the perspective of someone not in a “primary” relationship, and the post discussed various problems with couple privilege. Since polyamory has traditionally been presented from the perspective of “couple exploring while wanting to protect their existing relationship,” this serves as a real reminder that polyamory is about individuals loving other people, not about couples dictating how a third can best accommodate them.
The post requested reactions to and views on couple privilege. I agree with the original post that couple privilege is an insidious and harmful issue, but feel that there should be some recognition of the risks inherent in being a “primary” partner. The following is my comment on that post.