New to Poly, Seeking Female

I see no irony at all…

We are a MF couple, new to poly and seeking a Hot Bi Babe to be our third. He is a homophobic… er… heterosexual Dom and she is a bisexual sub. He feels threatened by the idea that she might ever be attracted to another man and she sees no irony in accommodating his One Penis Policy while sharing him with another woman. We require that you be single, fall in love with us equally, and never stray once you belong to us. We will claim to be an equal triad, though you will always be our extra and we might kick you to the curb if this does not work out so well… or we find an even hotter and more submissive unicorn. Though we will be poly, you should never want anyone but the two of us.

I am a heterosexual single male, newly aware that my history of cheating means that I truly have been poly all this time. Now that I understand myself better, I am looking for one or more poly girls to start my harem. I expect you to be bisexual and dedicated to only me and whatever other girls I choose for us. I only want single women or FF couples; mine must be the only penis you ever want.

I am a happily married woman, newly aware of my bisexuality and eager to find a woman. You won’t have to be with my husband (unless he changes his mind), but just for me alone. Even though I am married with a family that takes up a lot of my time and attention already, you must be single and dedicated to only me.

Gosh, it must be fun to be a single and polyamorous female… so many people looking for you… to own your butt.