*Note: These posts are often composed in advance, and so may not always reflect events in real time. SwingBot does post about events as they happen. Consequently, there may be discrepancies in the stages of our stories.*
For years, SwingBot and I discussed finding other sexual playmates and, at the end of this July, finally took action in the way of personal ads. Considering how long it took us to get to that stage, we felt comfortable about being selective about our potential new parter(s). Amidst many Definitely Nots and a few Maybes, we very quickly found one Yes, whom I’ll call “BG” (for “Bi Guy”).
BG caught my attention by having a funny and charming profile and kept my attention by having a funny and charming personality. He responded favorably to our interest and we had a first date. The date seemed a lot like hanging out with a friend and ending that date with “So, sex?” felt outright jarring. We blundered through our goodbyes and then SwingBot and I took an unnecessarily long way home.
The long way was kind of deliberate. We had a lot to discuss and being trapped together in the car — unable to part ways and escape into separate activities — forced us to talk. So, we discussed. We discussed whether we wanted to proceed and concluded yes. We discussed who should host, when we should schedule our first play date, and what we wanted to do first. We concluded nothing. We agreed that the things we must cover before doing anything physical — desires, expectations, boundaries, comfort zones, protection — are not exactly topics that one can discuss in a public setting, but that we also did not want to invite this (admittedly likable) stranger to a private place where sex could occur right then. Set up rules and then have sex, but don’t jump the gun (or the guy). So, if we cannot talk in public and we cannot talk in private, then how can we talk?
How did anyone do anything deviant before the Internet? Not only did we find BG via a web site, but we could have the crucial discussions in private without worrying about things getting physical too soon by chatting online. Since I had the bigger doubts and concerns, I took over as leader of the conversation. SwingBot and BG had chatted to set up the date, so I chatted to set up the rules of engagement. In that conversation, I laid out for BG what SwingBot and I want and what we don’t want. BG was fine with what we wanted and had a few acceptable additions to the Want list. His Don’t Want list matched ours well. We discussed protection — glad to know he also considers that important — and he offered various “next steps” suggestions.
The chat left me feeling much better about this whole thing. There were no longer any further doubts for me; I want SwingBot and I to have sex with BG. So, our questions now focused on getting together for that first sexual encounter: who hosts, when, and how do we want to proceed? “Uh… we’ll get back to you.”
That night, SwingBot and I had fantasy-driven sex. We suggested things that BG might do to us or that we might do to him. We used toys on each other and suggested that he would fill the roles (and fill the holes) when we played with him. We enjoyed the way the fantasies added to our sex and I think that session proved that we both truly like the idea of sharing ourselves and each other with BG.