SwingBot: Redefine yourself, TODAY!

SwingBot is the M half of this duet, who occasionally contributes inane guest-posts to this blog.

Well, not much happening lately. Just the usual emails from creepy people, including one guy who said he wanted us to get his wife drunk and then fuck her. That’s sexy.

We also started talking to a lady online who is interested in F/F stuff. After the initial conversation, I’ve been pretty much out of it because she wants to make sure I’m not coercing SO into depraved sex. Obviously, I’m not, but since this lady’s husband is straight, there’s not a whole lot in it for me directly. I’ve decided I should keep my mouth shut on this one and see where it goes (if I’m allowed to watch, that is!).

The only other thing that happened was that we made a playdate. For TONIGHT! So the last couple days have been filled with alternately freaking out over that we’re going to have sex with somebody different and having sex while talking about how it will be different with somebody else. Practice runs, if you will.

Personally, I’m scared shitless. Not for the usual reasons, though. I was talking to the guy and mentioned that my biggest problem would be if I were watching him fuck SO, I’d be jealous. He said it was normal, but a growth experience, yada yada. Unfortunately, I wasn’t talking about being jealously possessive of my wife getting plowed by a stranger, so much as being jealous of my wife getting plowed instead of me.

Still, I have performance anxiety. Losing my virginity was a surprise, either time (read the older posts if you need an explanation of that), but this time it’s planned. This is my gay-virginity we’re talking about now. I’ve never sucked a cock before. I’ve never taken it up the ass before. Well, I mean, with strap-ons, sure, all the time, but with a GUY? Never. I don’t know how to prepare for that, but I’ve sure spent the last couple days worried about it.

Do I shake his hand and grab is crotch? Do I say “look over there, a three-legged airplane” and suck him off when he’s not looking? Do I bring some soap to drop? I don’t know how to do this! I wasn’t prepared! The system has failed me!

In the end, I’ve decided to play the “selfless” card, which means I will let SO do most of the work. She’s had sex with men other than me, so she’s far better prepared for this. If an opportunity arises, sure, I’ll slip myself into the mix, but until them, I’m just being a selfless husband. Right? Does anyone believe that?

Of course, no plans survives first contact with a cock (or something like that) so there’s really no use worrying about it. Tomorrow should have an interesting post, though.