SwingBot: So You Want to Be A Hedonist?

SwingBot is the M half of this duet, who occasionally contributes inane guest-posts to this blog.

For years, I was pretty convinced I was gay. I had some male friends, some of whom spent a lot of time (and nights) on my couch. I fantasized, constantly, about them letting me suck them off for a while, before they flip me around and fuck me.

Actually, yeah, that is pretty gay, now that I write it out like that.

Turns out I was really more bi-desperate (as opposed to curious) and guys were all I had available. I was also in high school, and by that point the chances of me finding female playmates were pretty well sunk, given that it was a small town and I had been wearing pocket protectors since the 6th grade.

Which is why, I suppose, that when SO (my partner of 10 years now, and female) suggested she would like to see me suck cock and take it in the ass, I went into shock.

Do you know the feeling? Usually I feel it when I’m in a car accident, or I’ve just told my boss to take his job and shove it, or I’ve walked into a murder scene. Time just slows down. Your mind reels at what it’s processing. It feels like a dream. I have to tell myself: This Is Real; React Or Die. I’m sure it’s a hard wired survival trait, over clocking your consciousness so that you’re hyper-aware, able to make lighting fast decisions about stepping to the right so the tiger eats the fat guy behind you, but damn if it’s not trippy. If there’s a drug that does the same thing, don’t tell me, because I’d be an addict.

So, after a short discussion where I tried not to be too obviously eager, we became Swingers. So far, the experience involves signing up for dubious internet sites with a junk email account and burnable credit cards (the new trend of rebates coming on prepaid credit cards is awesome for the internet pervert concerned about privacy).

We talked about it, of course, but somehow every time we got into specifics, we had to stop and have sex.

So we started trolling those sites. We got a bunch of responses (suspiciously, I thought, but that’s another post) pretty quick, and even started IM’ing and trading (decent) pictures.

What happens next is what this blog is about!